For a bit of background, in my 20s, I was really, really lost and I was just in a really deep depression. I was in the grips of addiction to drugs and alcohol, I was smoking 20 cigarettes a day and I had crippling low self-worth. I was just trying to constantly escape through all these hedonistic ways. But throughout this time, I would go on health retreats and I would feel really good and this fog of sadness would lift. So I kind of knew there was something there and that my lifestyle and my depression were infecting each other. It seems obvious from the outside, but when you're in it, it's actually hard to decipher. So I did have this kind of affinity for wellness, but I just couldn't seem to sustain it. After many, many rock bottoms, I thought, OK, I'll leave London and do my yoga teacher training. I'd found that throughout this time, yoga had really provided me a very safe space. I would cry on the mat a lot. My sanctuary was yoga. I knew no matter what I wanted to help people—that was non-negotiable. That was always in me.
Not thinking it was ever going to be a career, I just would start writing. I was writing for Marie Claire at the time and I wrote this open letter about my depression and I started talking more about mental health as I was going through it. I wasn't talking about it from a place of, "Oh, I've healed." It was like, I'm just really in this mess, but I'm trying to find my way out. Then I went and did my yoga teacher training and after a month of being away thinking I'm going to do yoga for a living, I heard about something called manifestation. And something clicked in me. It clicked to me that we all had the power to create the life that we want and I really knew that I had been manifesting in the wrong way. So my low self-worth, my depression, my addiction had also been allowing me to keep myself stuck in a really negative space. I was allowing myself to be a victim. So the first step of manifesting was really understanding that I had the power to make a change and all of it lied within me. It was there. So then, Wade, who is my current partner, messaged me on Raya literally one week later. We met and to put it simply, a year to the day that he messaged me, our baby boy Wolf was born.
My first memory was there was this Smash Hits magazine and they had in it free eyeshadows. One time they had blue eyeshadow and Britney Spears was my idol at the time, and she wore blue eyeshadow. I was so excited and that was my first kind of try at makeup or anything beauty-related. I just remember sitting in my mirror, fingers covered with this blue eyeshadow free from my magazine. We've come a long way since then, but it was a fantastic moment.
Since then, I’ve loved makeup. I must have been 12 or 13 and, I mean the makeup trends were not good, but we were trying to contour in our own way. Even before contouring was a thing, I used to always put concealer down the center of my nose and lighten up under my eyes. By the time I was 19 I had that Tom Ford Illuminating Powder Duo, which I would use to contour. I was always trying to experiment with sculpting my face, but I was terrible with skincare. So I was a bar of soap kind of girl and that was how I was taking off my makeup—I was scrubbing soap into my mascara to get it all off. It was only when I was about 21 I went for a very fancy at Claridge’s and they used Sisley products on me and recommended me to get this Sisley skincare and it completely transformed my breakouts, which I had really badly at the time. And from there I was like oh, OK, I need to look after my skin now.
I got a bit overexcited over lockdown doing lots of at-home facials and I actually took a bit too far. Because I get lots of products to try, I have tried loads and I definitely think I've found my perfect skincare routine. I would start by saying less is more and simplifying things has been amazing for me. I start with a cleanser. At the moment I use Murad AHA Exfoliating Cleanser and I've found that AHA is really good for keeping my breakouts at bay. Then I use a hyaluronic acid serum. I use Organic Pharmacy, but when I started using hyaluronic acid my skin changed. The glow was real and I had found that things like vitamin C and retinol didn't really agree with me. Since I had Wolf, my skin is much more sensitive. So I have my serum and then I use Clinique Moisture Surge religiously. I've been using it for 10 years. I have tried so many moisturizers and every time, I go back to it and I have been through about 25 or 30 pots, easy. It just really works for me. I found out only recently, I don't know why I never even looked at the ingredients, but it does have hyaluronic acid in it. So maybe that's why my skin likes it. And then I use the Malin+Goetz Acne Nighttime Treatment for breakouts. So that's my basic skincare routine. It's so simple. I also love a good sheet mask and using any cooling de-puffers. I put on the sheet mask and rub my cooling cryo things over it and it's heaven. I also get regular facials.
Well, the Moisture Surge is one. The Rose Inc Softlight Luminous Hydrating Concealer is the best concealer of all fucking time. It's incredible! My friend, Lauren, loves makeup more than anyone I know and she got it the day it was released. I was so jealous and she said as well that it's the best concealer ever, so I went around to the different SpaceNK stores to try and find it. You know when you've been wearing concealer all day and it starts to crust? It doesn't do that. I would pick a good SPF for desert island, too. I would also bring Byredo Mixed Emotions. It's the best. My favorite smell.
Hypnotic
Sandy beige
Satin Cocoa
Neutral brown
Copper Shimmer
Copper gold